Anybody else feel an emptiness in the air this week? This SHOULD be the week we’re all setting up the beer tent, jerry-rigging wires for the sound system, and mixing up vats of barbecue sauce (BONNIE’S NOTE: Yum!). In other words, getting ready for the Verne Beef Festival! But instead, we’re all walking around with our tails between our legs, wondering what went wrong.
A lot of people wanted to point fingers when we couldn’t get the proper permits from the Highway Patrol this year. Whether it was the traffic jam caused by Mr. Quinn’s security checkpoint at the entrance to town, or the one load of bad beef from that discount outfit in Chessup, or the lack of potable water at Barbecue Central, there’s enough blame to go around (BONNIE: I vote for Mr. Quinn -- and NOT just because he objects to my adding these notes!).
But let’s get one thing straight. Not one legitimate finger has been pointed in the direction of yours truly. I have worked my heiney off to keep the festival going, and I’m reasonably certain that if you re-elect me, I can bring it back. I say reasonably certain, because I’m no psychic and I don’t have a crystal ball and I can’t see into the future, God knows. But I’ll try.
So if you want beef, Vote Garner! Garner = Beef!
God Bless Verne, and God Bless America.
5 comments:
Heck yeah, I miss the Beef Festival! And the blame has to go straight to the top! Take some responsibility, Mayor!
Hey Anonymouse, just knock it off. No one could have seen the way grain prices have gone through the roof. I feel bad for the cows starving to death out in the feedlot, but I also need fuel to get around in my F-250, so it's a trade off.
No one enjoyed Beef Days more than me, but I'll be honest the old waistline doesn't need the beer, and not being hung over three days in a row is kind of nice. My only regret is that Lamona didn't get a chance for a three-peat in the senior women's division of the hay bale throwing contest! She's been practicing out back all summer.
Just to set the record straight, the Verne Secure Borders Initiative Checkpoints were not the sole reason for that traffic jam -- there were several cars full of teenagers driving in a disruptive manner near the checkpoints. The Highway Patrol has remained unwilling to cooperate in making Route 9 safe from terrorist incursion and sees fit to punish us for our vigilance via the withholding of legitimate permit requests. Thanks, Major St. John, for your continuing leadership in keeping Verne safe and secure!
And I would remind Ms. Bonnie Yoder that we have bigger fish to fry, or at any rate to barbecue, than her continuing insistence on glossing the Mayor's remarks with her own meanderings. Free speech must have boundaries, which Ms. Yoder -- for reasons which remain impenetrable to me -- sees fit to ignore. That said, I continue enjoy working with Ms. Yoder in this vital campaign to keep Garner St. John serving as Mayor of Verne. If only she would concentrate on her secretarial duties and her (admittedly excellent) snickerdoodles and leave the commentary to those more skilled in punditry.
Bonnie, all this talk of beef has made me hungry. Can you meet for lunch at the City Cafe? It's pot roast Tuesday lunch special.
Ina Trump
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