Friday, October 31, 2008
A HUMBLE REQUEST
Well folks, you'll go to the polls tomorrow in our Verne tradition of local elections taking place on the weekend before national ones. So this will be my last post before you decide my fate.
As I sit and dictate this to Bonnie, I'm humbled by the job you've allowed me to do these past six years. We've weathered some tough times, right up to this past Tuesday when my ex-wife and her cronies harrassed Dr. Bazelle into admitting I pretended to faint during the Big Bailout Blowout Bash. But what they didn't mention was: It worked! It was simply a strategy to raise the money we needed during our financial crisis. As always, I was willing to sacrifice my own reputation for the people of Verne.
As you go to the polls, I humbly request that you ask yourself: Am I better off now than I was six years ago? I don't mean financially, or emotionally, or physically. I mean, can you look at yourself in the mirror and say, hey, take a look at my Mayor. He makes me feel like I'm doing pretty well. He loves this town and loves being Mayor. And will do anything to keep the job. That makes me feel pretty good (BONNIE'S NOTE: THE MAYOR IS TALKING ABOUT HIMSELF NOW -- ALTHOUGH HE IS SAYING WORD-FOR-WORD WHAT GOES THROUGH MY HEAD EVERY NIGHT BEFORE I FALL ASLEEP).
I have a private call scheduled with Winston Blank later this afternoon. I will wish him good luck. The polls are in his favor. But I have you, the good people of Verne on my side, and as you go to the polls tomorrow, I place myself (humbly) in your hands (BONNIE'S NOTE: IF ANYONE HAS ANY EXTRA BOXES YOU'RE NOT USING, WE COULD USE THEM AT TOWN HALL).
God Bless Verne, and God Bless America.